Unkle Karl is losing it

Today's entry is a shirt by Karl Lagerfeld aka Unkle Karl. He likes to wear all black, black leather gloves, dark sunglasses and a long pony tail. Mind you, he's in his sunset years, so the ponytail is ridiculous. Actually the whole getup is more costume than fashion. Judge for yourself:

To add to his "personality" a few years ago Unkle Karl lost a lot of weight. Now he goes around telling everyone they are fat and that they should eat like a bird.

Anyway, back to today's entry. Given Krazy Karl's style, this shirt should come as no surprise. However $240 for a white and black PVC shirt seems like a lot. That's right, PVC. It looks like bad leather, only it's bad plastic instead.

I am not sure what one would wear this with, nor to what kind of event, but I'd happily mock it if I saw it out and about. Gleefully even.

The worst website on Pinterest

Since I've started this blog I have found many dresses posted on Pinterest that I hate. Several of them have one thing in common - they come from the same website. The website is www.fishinthesky.com. It's pretty freaking awful, but on the plus side everything seems to be marked down to low, low prices. And they still want too much.

Take this magical wedding dress:

This magnificent fuchsia and brown extravaganza of organza can be yours for the bargain basement price of $189.99. That's a whopping savings of $109.99! Of course unless you're living in a basement where no one will ever see you this dress should never be purchased.

Another fabulous option is this:

As you can see it is also a pink organza extravaganza, but this one adds even more sequins! And one strap! Because bright pink and organza is not enough! There is a rule in fashion that before you leave the house you should look in the mirror and remove one item. In this case I am pretty sure the one thing that should be removed is this dress. By the way, this magnificent bounty of a dress is also only $189.99!

I perused the 2012 style wedding gowns and I will say they have a few that are somewhat attractive. And the prices are fantastic. Of course I'd be a bit concerned that they would burst into flames from being in the sun so long due to the low-quality fabric.

Here is a sample of a wedding dress they have. I know I've seen versions of this dress on "Say Yes to the Dress". Of course this dress is a bit (or a lot) over the top. Lots of organza and sequins and tulle. Just too much.

As always, the opinions expressed are my own. Though I hope you all agree with me.

Can we all agree?

The articles I choose for this blog are based on my own taste. I know that not everyone will agree that the items I choose are heinous, but that's what makes the world go 'round. Well that and apparently the uneveness of the distribution of the dust that formed the Earth. See here for a cogent explanation.

No matter that we all have different tastes in clothes I think we can all agree that this is hideous.

According to Etsy, this is a "Space Age Halter". I think it's a crazy age halter. The Etsy description says it's made with shiny yellow stretch fabric Top has shiny UV orange triangle side panels.
UV Orange and UV Pink fabric strips draped across the neck line. And this is my FAVORITE part - Looks AwEsOmE in Black-Light!

So this is to be worn to a Rave. Which makes sense, since I'd have to be high on Ecstasy to wear this thing.  Then we get to the skirt and tights, which I think are beyond words. Oh, oh! If this whole look isn't too much for you, THERE IS A HAT. Thaaaaat's right. A HAT.

I can't place it, but this hat reminds me of some type of cartoon creature. It is going to drive me nuts until I remember it, so if you have any ideas, let me know.

Submitted by a friend

A friend sent me this picture and thought it would be a good addition to the blog. At first glance I saw an OK - if not for me - sweater. Then I noticed the pants. Jeans? Pants? What the hell would you call them? I'm pretty sure my 69 year old mother wears pants like this, not a young fashion forward woman. These pants are a blight on fashion.

Head to waist - high waist - she's OK. Bangles work. I don't like the necklace, but it fits with the sweater and the bangles.

Then we get to the waistband of those pants. Clearly elastic with what looks like it may be a fake fly area.

Then let's talk about the color.  Stone washed comes to mind. As does the JC Penney collection in 1999.

Lastly, they look almost like a sheeting fabric. Or those bad nylon sweat pants that old married couples wear. Either way they are clearly a very light fabric. Luckily that probably means that they will wear out quickly and have to be thrown out. With any luck after two washings they are in the trash. Or even better - they are never purchased and never worn.

See something on Pinterest you think is blog-worthy? Feel free to send it to me. I welcome all ugly fashion for comment.

These are the nails of a crackwhore

My first thought when gazing upon these nails were that I've only ever seen nails like that on a meth head crackwhore. I mean they are just terrible.

So that you can compare here is a photo of a crackhead's nails. Of course these are relatively good nails - I've seen much worse, but I coudn't find a photo of them.

Why would anyone go out of their way to look like this. Then I thought perhaps these were the 2012 version of heroin chic - Meth head haute couture. I'm sure you'll see Lindsay Lohan sporting these nails any day now. Then again, now that she's had the meth teeth replaced maybe she covers up her crackwhore nails.

I should add that these nails were from a European fashion magazine. That may help explain them. Or not.

Shirt or tattoo?

When I first saw this on Pinterest I thought it was a shirt. Then I thought it was a tattoo. I'm pretty sure it's a shirt, but the one thing I'm sure of is that it's ugly.

Let's start with the mix of crochet and animal print. Then we can move on to the mullet shirt length. I'm not sure where someone would wear this, but I'm pretty sure it's the anti-Visa - nowhere I want to be.

Here's how I see this being worn. By a biker mama for a guy who is pretending he's in a bad ass 1%-er motorcycle club. She's hard, but worn out and believes her loser boyfriend's crap.

To save you from having to look up one-percenter - here is the wikipedia entry - Some outlaw motorcycle clubs can be distinguished by a 1% patch worn on the colors. This is claimed to be a reference to a comment made by the American Motorcyclist Association (AMA) in which they stated that 99% of motorcyclists were law-abiding citizens, implying that the last one percent were outlaws. The comment, supposedly a response to the Hollister riot in 1947,^[24][25] is denied by the AMA—who claim to have no record of such a statement to the press, and that the story is a misquotation.^[26] As a result, some outlaw motorcycle clubs used it to unite or express themselves and are commonly referred to as "one percenters". According to the ATF they are also known as Outlaw Motorcycle Gangs or OMGs.

In other words - Sons of Anarchy. Which is one of the best shows on TV and if you don't watch it you should start. Immediately.

Time for the mens

My first two posts were about women's fashion. But I found something in menswear so awful it had to be posted. It's menswear by John Galiano. Galiano is known for his out-there haute couture. Somehow being way out there seems less egregious in women's wear. Maybe it's just because I am more used to out-there women's fashion. Let me post the pic and then I will discuss.

Is it just me or does this look like Canadian Mountie go bad? I see this and immediately Dudley Do Right comes to mind. 

Then upon further inspection I notice the hat is something out of a bad old cowboy movie. It's the type of hat they always put on the old toothless American Indian. Usually he was also drunk. So the hat does not bring to mind a positive image for me.

Then there are the colors. The colors. Red, purple, green, and black. It's not good. Not good at all. 

For those of you unfamiliar with the work of Galiano, here is a sample. And yes, he's the man in black in the center of the photo.

Comments always appreciated.